29 August 2016

Haemo-Erotic Tag 5: Chodus Virilius Clungerender

Challenged by Mr Saturday Night, I have painted my Old Skool GoreChosen of Khorne.

Meet Chodius Virilius Clungerender:

Chodus Virilius Clungerender stands ready awaiting all opponents.

24 August 2016

Haemo-Erotic Tag 4: Arnuld Clotchewer

Following on from Hyu-Jigo the Pin Rat, I present my own gorechosen, Arnuld Clotchewer, who likes travelling, meeting new people and long walks in the rain. The blood rain. With the head of the person he just met clasped in a red fist.

I enjoyed working on his big shoulder plates, it gave me a chance to work out how I'd approach some of his more armoured mates, should I decide to paint Arnuld some mates.

Arnuld is one of my favourite chaos thugs minis, not least because of the creepy hood. I wanted to make sure it stayed creepy, so it's painted like pale flesh covered in the spray of some recent victim. He looks a bit like a body builder mixed with a serial killer. Hacking people up must make for great cardio. "Feel the BURN!" should be one of big red's war cries methinks, for he seems to likes them ripped. I can just imagine Arnuld screaming "Got tooo da choppa realmgate! !" in many, many of his games.

Next up, Antipixi! I choose you!

16 August 2016

Haemo-Erotic Tag 3: Hyu-Jigo the Pin Rat

After Asslessman's Willy and Crooksie's Guntsplitter, I figured it was time to share my Hyu-Jigo with you all.
Just to remind you of the premise for this tag along, pick a muscle-bound, barely clad, large weapon-wielding loon a inspired by the subtleties of GW's new Gorechosen game.
My lead pile was somewhat sparse of suitable figures, so I delved into my bits box and created the sort of muscle-bound meat head who's clearly been forgetting leg day!
Hyu-Jigo the Pin Rat is renowned in the fighting pits for his over-large blade and over large arms. After a neat decapitation, the slick blood-drenched fighter loves nothing more than flexing triceps, kissing his biceps and showing off his heavily sculpted back. But in the locker room there are sniggers and cruel taunts. For all the superb musculature on his top half, Hyu-Jigo tends to skip leg days. And it shows!


28 July 2016

Haemo-Erotic Tag 2 : Willy Gutshagger the ever running


Following the excellent Captain Crooks and Halfdan Guntsplitter, here's my own take on the GORECHOSEN tag.
For this challenge, I just went through my box of chaotic lead and picked the one that inspired me the most !

22 July 2016

Haemo-Erotic Tag 1: Halfdan Guntsplitter, Aspiring Gorechampion of the Blood-god

The skies roiled with inky black clouds, shook with thunderous crashes of thunder and was rent with forks of hideous red lightning. A new champion of the Blood-God was in ascendance, heralded by rains of gore and the screams of the dying. It was time for the bloodening to begin. It was time for...



18 July 2016


Games Workshop is due to release a gladiatorial combat game in September.  I enjoy GW boardgames more than battle games: they represent the distilled best of the hobby to me when done well.

Gladiator games have particular appeal too, due to featuring a low miniature count and the option to play simple and fun multiplayer games about dramatically killing people.  A game like this is a must-have for me.

Name: Giuseppe.  
Likes: blood, flaming blood.  
Dislikes: big moths. 

“Gorechosen” is based on what I regard to be the most single mindedly dull faction in the rich and occasionally nuanced Warhammer settings: followers of Khorne.
Name: Vincent.  
Likes: blood, nosebleeds.  
Dislikes: lack of blood, team sports.

I doubt that “Bloodbound” brush their teeth, but if they do then they brush them with a sharpened, bloody femur, doused in O-positive while showering in blood in their Bloodhouse, Platelet Crescent, Scab Drive, Slaughter-Upon-Blood.

Name: Howard.  
Likes: blood, arterial spray.  
Dislikes: choosing something to watch on Netflix.

Weirdly although this dull single mindedness makes Khorne projects generally too one-note to interest me, they are funny to talk about.
The Creeps had an amusing discussion about the Bloodbound game and these sorts of characters the other day.  As a result we decided to get the drop on the new game when it comes out, by each of us painting a frothing, monomaniacal psychopath in advance.

Name: Eugene. 
Likes: blood, long soaks in the tub (of blood).  
Dislikes: poor wi-fi connections on public transport.

I dont speak for all the Creeps when I say that I find the stupendously OTT characters in the box quite appealing in their gross absurdity.  They amuse me and I feel a surprisingly strong urge to paint them.

Regardless, due to all of the participants having ready access to some suitable old Citadel figures, we decided to go with them in our project instead.  Several of the figures likely to appear come from the old Chaos Thug range.

We will be using models such as these in our project.
Picture borrowed from solegends.com (we love you guys!)
Captain Crooks has (blood)volunteered to post the first Haemo-erotic model ASAP so watch this space. Then in turn he will (blood)tag another (corn syrup)Creep to be the (blood)next to sub(lood)mit.

11 July 2016


Greetings to all the Creepers out there! Today we're bringing you something extra special, the (probably) eagerly anticipated battle report of the game of the sequel of the movie Fatal Deviation, starring Irish Martial Arts hero Jimmy Bennett, his girl Nicola, a cyber hobo and a giant ball-sac. Read and enjoy as we present...

Remember this old game? Console Gamer Magazine gave it negative 1,000,000 stars